Reviews for "Approaching Shadow"

[Lady Elwen]

Author's Name: Lady Elwen
Author's Email: [e-mail]
Submission Title: Approaching Shadow


Please leave reviews for Approaching Shadow in this thread.

[Lady Elwen]

Confused yet? ;D If you're wondering, yes, you're supposed to be.

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Author's Notes[/u]

After receiving constant questioning about the plot and characters, I am compelled to post such notes as are here. Additional disclaimer, notes on the necessary knowledge, etc.


Additional Disclaimer: I am not stealing Orlando Bloom. Quite frankly, I don't even like him that much. Yes, my character is married to Legolas. I wrote her history long before the movies were even produced, and she needed to marry someone. Also keep in mind that Orlando Bloom and Legolas are actor and character, not one and the same entity. Do I like Legolas? Sure. He brought a lot to the Fellowship. Do I like Orlando? I don't really care. So there. If you don't like it, deal. In all honesty, I'm sick of hearing that she's an automatic nutcase and Mary-Sue and that I love Orlando because of this. I don't. There's no fluffy romance, and as far as I was concerned, she needed to marry someone who wasn't already taken, and I'm not creative enough to come up with two characters. End of story.

Contextual Notes: This is more of a LoTR focus than on the Silmarillion or any other Tolkien work, but the Valar are closely incorporated into my stories, as are lots of old tales not in LoTR - Sil, UT, HME, etc. You'll see why later on, but no, you don't need extensive Tolkien knowledge to follow. If you have it, great - if not, you'll learn as we go. Same with Pierce writing. All you need to know? The Gift is magic that is shown as colored fire. Wild magic is magic that allows one to communicate with animals. Places? Um, if you don't know Pierce, just pretend I made it up. I didn't, but I don't have the time to explain.

Rating: PG-13 for some violence and battle scenes - I don't get graphic, as far as I'm concerned, but I'm staying on the safe side and sticking with the rating that the cinema versions received. My battle scenes don't get much worse than that. Absolutely NO slash, sex, or obscenity.

Begins the "Across the Universe of Time" series.


Plenty more of all that where it came from... Want more, just ask. I like ranting.

~ Elwen

[Elbereth]

*Applause* I love your author's notes!! Especially your additional disclaimer... Well said!!

And as to your story, is that the end of the prologue? If so, it's really good. If not, it's still really good. I love the ambiguous quality; yes, I'm confused, but well, if I'm supposed to be, then good.

The fact that you never mention names, aside from the occasional title, and yet still manage to tell the story without interfering with the language is really really intriguing, because it's something that's really hard to do. I can rarely conduct dialogue or narrative-heavy plots without any definitive notes.

Good work with the subtler touches of Old English... well, English... It's tough to graspt that, because of how formal it is, compared to our speech patterns now. And I really like the female character - is this Elwen, or no?

Lovely description of the forest and that ruby in the window. It's really captivating description and imagery, something I'm beginning to notice in patterns through this site, as I'm mentioning it in almost every thread...

~ Elbereth

[Lady Elwen]

*chuckles* I've just gotten so much crap over that, I just have to say it!! Glad it pleases!!

No, it's not the end of the prologue - thanks, though! Being confused is a good thing here - if you got it, I'd be scared, since only I can really tell what's going on! Glad that came off all right - wasn't too sure how it would work. It's a bit of a complicated style.

No, that's not Elwen - you'll see her and how it ties in a bit later. And yeah, I've been working with Old English for a while - not the easiest to write, but it's fun when you get it right!

*grins* I liked the ruby myself..... And thanks - there is a bit of a pattern; I'm doing the same thing!

~ Elwen

[Lady Elwen]

So the prologue is finished officially; I have no intention of further alteration or addition to it, unless my plot bunnies go insane once more and make me delete the whole thing again, in which case I may just simply kill myself... *makes a face*

But... I am written officially through chapter 2; it's technically completed, but that version's still in my head, waiting to be put on paper. So while it may be getting updated at random intervals, it just as well may not be, what with hiatus and such.

Just to let you know...

~ Elwen

[Lady Adara]

*grins* To begin with, I adore your disclaimer. I applaud you for that one! ;D

Now, to the story...

I suppose it's a good thing that I'm supposed to be confused, because I am most definitely confused beyond any and all belief. I can follow it, but I've not a clue who people are...

I admit that I typically hate main-character OCs and AU, but I will wait and see how yours pans out. I like it so far - exceedingly so, in a way that is rare for me to react to writing, especially fanfiction. Your writing is fluid and it captures the idiom you've chosen quite well. 'Tis not an easy one to write in the slightest, and despite the fact that it is not quite so formal as to revert to "thee's" and "thou's" and "thy's" and the like, it captures the slightly more cultured tone that is particular to actual authors, much as Tolkien had his work sounding. There are the occasional slips, but then, those are subjective, as we have no idea of how, exactly, certain things would be termed in that language, for sadly none use it anymore...

You have excellent imagery here, especially with the entire prologue laid out. It was good in part one; it pulls together quite nicely in part two. The forest is quite nicely described. I love your opening, particularly the first set of lines:

It was at times like these – times of such peace and solitude – that she knew that if only she could turn around fast enough, she would be able to see her husband standing behind her. Alas, a mortal’s reflexes were not nearly fast enough to reach the impossible, and she was left to watch the coming of morning alone as the colors reflected in her sapphire eyes.

That is some of the best I've read lately, online, fanfiction, or published. I have no idea of what you intended to imply here, but for me, I see the bittersweetness that comes with immortality and mortality all to one, for neither can win and both will lose, ultimately. I love the implications here, that there is a back story to this mysterious woman.

And then this:

Across the land, far south, two men stood at their own window, high above the flat desert in a lone gray tower. They, however, had little interest in the rising of Arien as she pulled her vessel through the sky; rather, they lifted a mirror to catch the light at a certain angle, sending it flashing in a beam across the land, reaching invisible hands tainted with black magic to the very window that was a single woman’s only shield from power she was now marked to receive and unable to escape.

Your references to Arien and Ithil are very constant and regular and the only indication that we are indeed in ME. What you have done here, placing direct juxtaposition and allowing character positioning to contrast one another, is excellent. Though we have nothing to define them by, in terms of names or other things, it is clear that there is something countering the both of them - something specific.

The ruby you have is... chilling. One can see the terms it embraces and I am assuming that it has a part to play in the further parts of the story. Your descriptions of its light - and even more so, the waning of said light after the daughter's vow to avenge her mother - pair perfectly with the events and are absolutely chilling.

The rest of your writing is really good; your imagery, as I have said, is fantastic. As I am reading, I can see your words flashing across in scenes through my mind, as though I am viewing flim clips. That is rare for me in my reading, especially in fanfiction, no matter the genre. The conversation you employ is brief and I adore its lack here, because it is not needed. So many authors seem to feel the need to have constant conversation, and in doing so, seem to lose so much characterization.

Despite its ambiguity and lack of names, it is captivating and extremely well-written. The characters come off as human in their brief appearances and I enjoy the fact that you manage to tell the story and form a plot out of it without such defining points.

But I have rambled on for long enough; I hope to see more of this - only keep up with the writing here!

~ Adara

[Lady Elwen]

*jaw drops* I must say, Adara, that yours is among the longest reviews I have ever received for this story... While I do not think that it is indeed as good as you say, thanks just the same. 'Tis nice to know it's appreciated.

The writing style is, as I said in response to Elbereth's review, not an easy one to capture, but one that I love to write, primarily because such structure and style to the English language has all but diminished entirely, especially in spoken conversation.

As for the line about turning to see her husband, I was, I suppose, implying in a way the pain of immortality and mortality when placed side by side, but I was also trying to highlight the sheer peace of the moment - there are those moments of complete calm when you feel that everything is somehow right, that everything you desire is come true and all that you have lost is returned. The kind of moment when you know that if only you could look quickly, it would all be there. In hindsight, I suppose I was influenced by the movie and book The Little Princess, in the idea that the girl's father presented of dolls moving until one can return to see it.

Arien and Ithil... I have always been fascinated by the history of the two and of the usage of them and their respective vessels. Using them in writing is something I do constantly, enough that I have to stop myself from saying them aloud. The ruby... Well, I won't say any more on that - glad you like it.

Thanks so much for your comments; it's nice to know that you enjoyed it and that my writing was to your taste. I was a bit in doubt over the vague quality of this prologue, but it's nice to know that it didn't entirely muddle things!

~ Elwen